Submitted to Apple

WTF

You finally build the project with your left nut, the distribution provisioning, and the juice of a shriveled goji berry (kind of redundant with the first item in the list), upload it to iTunes Connect and it rejects it with the dreaded "doesn't validate."

They say I can’t use the name Alice because they have something named Alice. What? Where? Please. You think I didn't check ahead of time? I’m sure they’re not saving the name Alice for some super secret pre-MacWorld product. 25 years ago Apple said they couldn’t use the name Alice because some database company already had it. Thus the Through the Looking Glass name. Maybe they’re thinking of that? Nah, that can’t be. There aren’t that many people at Apple who remember anything from 1984. They know there was some commercial with some woman in a tight tee-shirt throwing something at a screen but only because they saw the parody on The Simpsons.

Please get some better error messages. This is like having a Q&A with Socrates (or should I say a Q& with Socrates.

Oh Apple. I only say these things because I love you. You know that, right?

Some combination finally works and it takes, but then I realize I didn't incorporate all of the legal department's input. Well, I'll just withdraw it after my crack legal department checks in. Trust me, do not mess with my legal.